The Secret Society of The Great Pumpkin Read online

  Chapter 3 – Health and Welfare

  “Are we ready to do this?” the Master Sergeant asked.

  Sergeant Allen replied, “The platoon is formed and all the Marines understand the mission today. They all understand the General’s orders. We notified the cadets of our plan to inspect the dorms Friday night. They’ve had the whole weekend to get ready, so I guess if we find something there won’t be any excuses. I’m just not sure why the General crushed our plan to give the cadets no notice.”

  “You can let the General and the Adjutant worry about that,” Thompson said.

  Allen said, “We reduced the targeted number of dormitories from five to two. Twenty Marine inspectors and 20 random dorm rooms in two buildings and again I’m not sure why the General cut off our nuts like this.”

  “You want to be a General, Allen? Okay first, you complete this assignment and graduate from fucking college and then maybe you’ll have a long shot at it. Until then, we follow our orders.”

  Allen motioned to the 20 Marines standing in formation, dressed in their workout physical training gear (shorts, t-shirts, with running shoes).

  “The Marines are ready, Master Sergeant,” Allen said.

  “Alright, let’s kick this off,” Thompson said.

  Each Marine of the platoon walked toward the selected dorms with clipboards in their hands. Most of them were very appreciative of the break in routine to inspect dorm rooms for the morning rather than the usual five-mile Monday morning 0500 platoon run. Plus, it was a wet rainy day and Master Sergeant Thompson liked getting his Marines muddy whenever he could. No real Marine sergeant ever minded getting muddy, but given the choice, most Marines, even the toughest and meanest preferred dry to wet, warm to cold, clean to muddy.

  Marines began searching the dorm rooms while staff officers oversaw the health and welfare inspection.

  “Where are you going, Allen?” Thompson asked.

  “I’m taking a walk to look in the cadet parking lot. The General didn’t say we couldn’t look in the parking lot. Searching the parking lot is part of health and welfare.”

  “I thought you wanted to search their rooms?”

  “Master Sergeant, this is Texas A&M, not the Marine Corps. These are Aggie cadets, not junior Marines. These are cadet dormitories, not Marine barracks. We’re not going to find anything in those dorm rooms.”

  Two hours later the Marines met back in their training room. Each of the twenty Marines reported finding nothing. Every cadet dorm room inspected was pristine, the beds made perfectly, nothing out of order, a picture of the President of the United States, the President of the University, the Governor of Texas, and the General of the Aggie Corps of Cadets squared and lined perfectly on the main wall of every dorm room.

  Master Sergeant Thompson collected the inspection sheets and then dismissed the Marines to head to their classes. Allen stayed back. Once the Marines had left, Master Sergeant Thompson said, “Well, that was a huge waste of time.”

  “Not really,” Allen said, handing the Master Sergeant a list of four license plates. “I’d like to know which cadets own these cars,” he said.

  “Why, what did you find in the parking lot?” Thompson asked.

  “I found some squirrelly shit, Master Sergeant. Give me a second.”

  Allen left the room and went to his wall locker and returned with a very large pickle jar, only it wasn’t filled with pickles.

  “What the fuck is that?” Thompson said.

  “I don’t know Master Sergeant, but it looks like a jar of turds, possibly human. This was in the back seat of the first car listed there. The door wasn’t locked, so I helped myself.”

  “And these other three cars?”

  “Each one of those cars had similar jars of crap and strange shit in them either on the floor or in the seat.”

  “You gotta be shitting me!”

  “I shit you not, Master Sergeant.”

  “So what’s your suggestion, charge these cadets?”

  “No. We say nothing about this just yet. Not even to the General. Can I get the names and then follow these cadets for a while and see what else they’re up to? I’d also like to see their cadet files.”

  “I’m starting to like how you think, Allen. I’ll get you the names and the files and you get one week. After one week, I want to know what you found. I want to hear that we can stop the Great Pumpkin. We got four weeks ‘til Halloween Allen. You got four weeks.”

  “Okay, but I could use some help.”

  “Who did you have in mind?”

  “Sergeants Cano, Parker, and O’Neal.”

  “Pick one.”

  “Sergeant Cano.”

  “Alright, make it happen and this all better stay clean Allen.”

  “Understood, Master Sergeant.”

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